im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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