PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
