Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
