why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
