it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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