Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
