Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
