Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  parking. I am not drunk

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  (847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

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  (212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face http://tfl.nu/y33v
  Replies (15) Good night (913) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man

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  (206): i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man http://tfl.nu/40et
  Replies (15) Good night (1508) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh yea! I was just doing that too!

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  (814): I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina. (610): Oh yea! I was just doing that too! http://tfl.nu/grjr
  Replies (10) Good night (998) Bad night (2440)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
  Replies (21) Good night (4304) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (9034) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.

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  (484): wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day. http://tfl.nu/pyo4
  Replies (7) Good night (5049) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4616) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

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  (303): this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now. http://tfl.nu/u25e
  Replies (13) Good night (918) Bad night (4657)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.

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  (651): i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college. http://tfl.nu/te2e
  Replies (15) Good night (7627) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock

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  (704): She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock http://tfl.nu/w4aw
  Replies (12) Good night (2811) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.

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  (530): Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/z6l9
  Replies (5) Good night (2230) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

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  (810): You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults http://tfl.nu/ltaq
  Replies (3) Good night (1300) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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  (860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo
  Replies (4) Good night (1716) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.

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  (607): Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend. http://tfl.nu/8rh6
  Replies (3) Good night (240) Bad night (501)

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