so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
