Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

(914): View more from New York

so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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(443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5

Replies (11) Good night (4233) Bad night (530)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

(571): View more from Virginia

She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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(540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t

Replies (11) Good night (2818) Bad night (752)
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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

Replies (13) Good night (2600) Bad night (659)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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(610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs

Replies (38) Good night (5277) Bad night (714)
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(727): View more from Florida

You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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(727): You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on. http://tfl.nu/u7oz

Replies (22) Good night (1122) Bad night (5153)
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(207): View more from Maine

Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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(207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y

Replies (42) Good night (9401) Bad night (1382)
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(801): View more from Utah

She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.

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(801): She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/p8e4

Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (3959)
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(714): View more from California

You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.

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(714): You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world. http://tfl.nu/6m84

Replies (15) Good night (3606) Bad night (699)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

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(267): Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her. http://tfl.nu/ywpc

Replies (23) Good night (860) Bad night (3042)
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(714): View more from California

Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

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(714): Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends. http://tfl.nu/ft9d

Replies (17) Good night (4384) Bad night (672)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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(717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p

Replies (5) Good night (1875) Bad night (472)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work

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(787): I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work http://tfl.nu/djbl

Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (284)
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(434): View more from Virginia

i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...

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(434): i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet... http://tfl.nu/ym2b

Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (236)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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(586): Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent. http://tfl.nu/up93

Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (195)
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(518): View more from New York

I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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(518): I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate http://tfl.nu/kwqw

Replies (9) Good night (230) Bad night (627)

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