Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b