Can i not drive my cunt home
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that