I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon