so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
