I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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