I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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