so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
