saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think I died a long time ago.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
