i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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