I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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