oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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