In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
