there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize