I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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