i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
