Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
