she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
