Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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