I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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