just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
