did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
