Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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