how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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