miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
