Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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