I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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