you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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