Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize