there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
