would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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