i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
