I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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