My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She told me I should be a condom model.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
