Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
