I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
