So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
