We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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