DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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