But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
