We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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