After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
