I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
