i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
