my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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