I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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