Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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