u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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