Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I understand Curling. That high.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
