I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
