She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize