I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
