She announced her abortion via fbk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize