well I can't set my house on fire every night
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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