I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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