It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
