hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
