I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
