Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize